advice on how to stop a dog from barking...
Long long walks will establish you as the pack leader and the puppies incessant barking is most likely insecurity due to pent up energy and instability...the walk will fix all of the anxiety because pup will trust that it doesn't have to worry about a thing with a strong leader around and the barking will stop...do not nurture an unstable mind - ever - when the pup cries or barks ignore the action don't make eye contact and redirect the energy with a long walk teaching the pup how to be a dog again, in the wild dogs walk and migrate all day every day.
sound like advice on how to redirect people going through tough times? maybe we really are just animals!
Monday, June 30, 2008
la voz
it is a song, a whisper, a soothing tranquil melody. yesterday, i lost my voice. perhaps it is stress, not being heard, and frustration that took it away.
for the first time in my life i felt tremendous fear. fear of being alone. fear that all i knew as stability i let go of; fear that i will not be able to make it in this world on my own. we made peace & let each other go last night, into the world as a free spirit to love someone else wholeheartedly. it was a beautiful reversal of vows, not the kind that you normally hear when two lives' paths end, but we had our own harmony. you are an amazing, caring man. i could count on you, and that is one of the greatest things i enjoyed with you. i must remember that i came into this world by myself & i will leave by myself. others are here throughout the journey to give a hand, but it is always me that has to take the steps. i cannot force things onto myself, but i also have to look at what is holding me back from potential. nor can i force things onto another, but i will stand up for them to get through the mood of their own mind.
from this point on, i walk alone, surrounded by all. perhaps i will find a journey partner to make it fun & easy & full of love, but it is as it is for now.
for the first time in my life i felt tremendous fear. fear of being alone. fear that all i knew as stability i let go of; fear that i will not be able to make it in this world on my own. we made peace & let each other go last night, into the world as a free spirit to love someone else wholeheartedly. it was a beautiful reversal of vows, not the kind that you normally hear when two lives' paths end, but we had our own harmony. you are an amazing, caring man. i could count on you, and that is one of the greatest things i enjoyed with you. i must remember that i came into this world by myself & i will leave by myself. others are here throughout the journey to give a hand, but it is always me that has to take the steps. i cannot force things onto myself, but i also have to look at what is holding me back from potential. nor can i force things onto another, but i will stand up for them to get through the mood of their own mind.
from this point on, i walk alone, surrounded by all. perhaps i will find a journey partner to make it fun & easy & full of love, but it is as it is for now.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
stronger than desire...
beautiful song:
It was getting late
Everything was wrong
You knew that I could wait
But you didn’t know how long
I held you in my arms
And we became like blazing fire
And there was nothing
Stronger than desire
From a place between your knees
To every hair upon your head
We spoke the language of rolling seas
And then forgot what we said
Something like “loving you is something
That I will never tire”
Ah! When there was nothing
Stronger than desire
And I would always be your lover
But for my confusion and your rage
I don’t wanna be another
Zombie in a cage
Cos love is there to set us free
Though you may call me a liar
And maybe there wass nothing in me
Stronger than desire
If I must become a memory
Trapped in the confines of your mind
With problems of no remedy
Or other things you’ve left behind
Then think of me as something
That you were doomed to acquire
From a time when there was nothing
Stronger than desire
And I will wander into town
And to where the night stars do fade
Accompanying my loneliness
With this lovers serenade
While wondering where you might be now
Though I dare not enquire
Still sometimes there ain’t nothing
Stronger than desire
I loved you then and I love you still
And from I can’t remember when
But let love do what love will
For love may join us once again
Life with you by my side
To that I truly would aspire
Ah but love must come from some place
Free from fear and stronger than desire
mark abis © 2000
Thursday, June 5, 2008
June 12th - Great Jazz
I volunteer for the Prospects Lefferts Garden Arts department. We put on a monthly jazz concert at the Inkwell in Brooklyn on the second Thursday of every month.
Take some time out for yourself & some good music & come along to see the show. Admission is just $5.
Here's a description of the upcoming show on June 12th. : Alex Terrier and Guests: Dayna Stephens on tenor sax, Francois Moutin on bass and Steve Davis on drums.
Alex Terrier is an up-coming young jazzman from France who has settled down in Brooklyn. He presents a set of compositions and standards in the great tradition of Cannonball Adderley and John Coltrane
Photos available here:
Venue:Take some time out for yourself & some good music & come along to see the show. Admission is just $5.
convos w/kei: part 1: ice cream & love...
ice cream...it's my favorite treat in the world. any flavor really, but particularly ben & jerry's cherry garcia (the yogurt). the brownie one is good too, as is the everything & then some flavor. carvel ice cream cake! breyers chocolate, edy's peanut butter...the thought of them is watering my mouth already! but i speak about this tasty dessert not as food, but as a lesson i learned, right now!
i realize how little patience i have for eating it. kei & i had some treats tonight. as frequently happens, she brought the ice cream out of the fridge & i was ready to delve into it. i couldn't wait. she giggles at my eagerness! it was frozen through & i wanted to have it, at that very moment, right then! why wait for it when it's right there - when we've spoken about eating it & it's right in our face? no need to waste time with this. but it's too hard to put a spoon into... she doesn't have a scooper, and tonight i thought to get her one to make life easy & less (waiting) time consuming.
i thought my eagerness was a result of loving the ice cream, wanting to savor it, devour it, enjoy it...but i do not know. for this moment, i am going to liken ice cream to love. perhaps instead of putting it on the stove or under hot water to warm up i should just let it warm up on it's own. no fire needed! perhaps this is the lesson of a lifetime! ice cream - my probable first love, the thing that was my main meal throughout middle school (yes, ice milk was my only part of lunch for nearly a year). perhaps it satisfied a pleasure i cannot name.
i always thought i was patient. growing up sharing a small room with 2 sisters. making up my own games & being on my own. being the eldest, the guide for all to follow. eating with the adults & not the kids. being a leader & team mate. teaching & working with children throughout my lifetime. learning new languages & foreign dances. reading, writing, analyzing, playing...it all required patience. but at this moment i learned that i am lacking patience in love, INDEED!
i think i was patient with love, very, very patient. i had no time frame, no calendar of when one thing should happen, what should happen by this time or that time. i had all the time in the world. i waited & waited & waited. i enjoyed what i had because it was what came when it did. i appreciated every moment & even learned to appreciate those moments of pure sadness & dread that went along with patience. however, he took me for a ride to nowhere & i lost that patience...after waiting eight years for the man i loved, the one i was going to marry, to finally fulfill on the the question (the one we talked about: marriage, family, moving into our apartment, traveling the world together, laughing together till we die, etc... yes...that one). instead, he asked someone else to be his. after i had waited my turn, so patiently, through thick & thin, through it all! i deserved the spot. i deserved it all...
so from that time forward, i suppose i made patience become a hindrance. i would no longer wait for a man to have me wait by his side; to take his time in choosing, because if he didn't know in a short time he will just drag it out & then not choose me all over again. if it works, just choose now? right? do i want to wait again... if i have to wait, the man & love will melt just like ice cream & be no good. what's good about totally melted ice cream, about totally disappeared love? nothing.
i put love under a fire, trying to make it ready for me when i am ready for it...i lately rushed love with someone i really want to share it with instead of waiting for it to bloom. so, here's to waiting for the ice cream! to letting it soften on it's own. this is my resolution kei :) these get-togethers are doing more good than i ever would have suspected! xoxo
i realize how little patience i have for eating it. kei & i had some treats tonight. as frequently happens, she brought the ice cream out of the fridge & i was ready to delve into it. i couldn't wait. she giggles at my eagerness! it was frozen through & i wanted to have it, at that very moment, right then! why wait for it when it's right there - when we've spoken about eating it & it's right in our face? no need to waste time with this. but it's too hard to put a spoon into... she doesn't have a scooper, and tonight i thought to get her one to make life easy & less (waiting) time consuming.
i thought my eagerness was a result of loving the ice cream, wanting to savor it, devour it, enjoy it...but i do not know. for this moment, i am going to liken ice cream to love. perhaps instead of putting it on the stove or under hot water to warm up i should just let it warm up on it's own. no fire needed! perhaps this is the lesson of a lifetime! ice cream - my probable first love, the thing that was my main meal throughout middle school (yes, ice milk was my only part of lunch for nearly a year). perhaps it satisfied a pleasure i cannot name.
i always thought i was patient. growing up sharing a small room with 2 sisters. making up my own games & being on my own. being the eldest, the guide for all to follow. eating with the adults & not the kids. being a leader & team mate. teaching & working with children throughout my lifetime. learning new languages & foreign dances. reading, writing, analyzing, playing...it all required patience. but at this moment i learned that i am lacking patience in love, INDEED!
i think i was patient with love, very, very patient. i had no time frame, no calendar of when one thing should happen, what should happen by this time or that time. i had all the time in the world. i waited & waited & waited. i enjoyed what i had because it was what came when it did. i appreciated every moment & even learned to appreciate those moments of pure sadness & dread that went along with patience. however, he took me for a ride to nowhere & i lost that patience...after waiting eight years for the man i loved, the one i was going to marry, to finally fulfill on the the question (the one we talked about: marriage, family, moving into our apartment, traveling the world together, laughing together till we die, etc... yes...that one). instead, he asked someone else to be his. after i had waited my turn, so patiently, through thick & thin, through it all! i deserved the spot. i deserved it all...
so from that time forward, i suppose i made patience become a hindrance. i would no longer wait for a man to have me wait by his side; to take his time in choosing, because if he didn't know in a short time he will just drag it out & then not choose me all over again. if it works, just choose now? right? do i want to wait again... if i have to wait, the man & love will melt just like ice cream & be no good. what's good about totally melted ice cream, about totally disappeared love? nothing.
i put love under a fire, trying to make it ready for me when i am ready for it...i lately rushed love with someone i really want to share it with instead of waiting for it to bloom. so, here's to waiting for the ice cream! to letting it soften on it's own. this is my resolution kei :) these get-togethers are doing more good than i ever would have suspected! xoxo
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
funky sites & things goin on
Monday, June 2, 2008
The world is moved by unrequited, not happy, love...
...so says Marquez. Today I began on page 13 of Memories of My Melancholy Whores -and finished it. I have profound admiration for Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Pablo Neruda. Why I name them both here? I feel the desire to, and as Marquez noted him in a line of the book, I will note the beautiful poet here as well. I could have loved them both. Reading their writings I am moved to tears and laughter with ease. I am inspired, both in reading & writing.
This book I hold is not exactly mine. However, it is the perfect book to have borrowed from the one whom I write this passage about. When I walked out of sam's apartment with this book in hand I had no idea it would fit into my life as perfectly as it does. While reading this novela I underlined passage after passage, something I have not done in years. He said I could have it, but I am not sure if I will return it, at all, as is, or buy a new one to return without the underlines. In high school I wrote notes along the margins of books I read. They were quotes of a song I was listening to, my own inspirational mental meanderings, notes for an upcoming essay, or underlines of poignant passages. Upon finishing them, I would return the book to the teacher. After a few days I would sneak them out of the room so I can have all of my writings back. The artist & me, together on one page. Today, I felt the same. Years after I left the school, I returned all of the books. I am not sure what anyone thought to receive twenty books with notes enscribed along the sidelines. Perhaps it inspired another soul...that is all I can ask.
After my class tonight I ate a pizza & brownie dinner with my brother-man shane; not my brother by blood, but my brother by soul. We are very much similar, in looks & in presence: two hippy kids with blondish hair, lively eyes, and big smiles. It is commented by those that see us interact in our nods & recognition of the other. We endow upon others a comfort that is soothing to them & to myself. It is wonderful to know that there is a guy in this world who sees & respects me as a sister. I always knew I had a brother, it just took a long time, landmark, a cello, and a connection to ithaca to find him. i am ever grateful for his presence in my life.
We spoke of building eco-friendly houses together & inspiring people with creativity. I shared with him about this book, Memories of My Melancholy Whores & my own unrequited love. I shared how I am so very much inspired, in spite of, or perhaps due to, the circumstances at hand. On one hand, there is a man who is open with his love, who pampers me & makes great strides to try to be with me. On the other hand there is another who wants a life with me, but is so conflicted & disappeared. Why do I not pursue the first & choose the latter? Because I am happy sharing life together; because I grow & am inspired; because though his absence troubles me, with each absence my heart grow fonder; because I see the light at the end of tunnel; because my spirit has grown so much over the past few months with sam; because i believe... but it's not working. Perhaps Marquez is onto something: the world does move around the unrequited love. After all, how many love songs, books, poems, photos, films, & theater productions are based on this very topic? Artists thrive on this: this is the bread & butter of our souls. We are all here- in this very melancholy place!
Currently, I am left with only with memories & lines of writings. Even the love-inspiration candle I have from a healer in Mexico refuses to light. There is no hope. But hope brings nothing. Words & action bring what you put out there. Am I putting something out there? These writings, yes, but for what I am not sure of. Perhaps he will find these writings, and bestow upon me a long loving that will continue forever. It is insane for me to think of these things, but I look to them not in lamenting the past, but with a nostalgia of something that I shared with someone. Perhaps, just for a moment, it was real & happy. Perhaps it was once the perfect ending to Marquez' books. Perhaps, like a boomerang, if I let him go, he will come back. So...for better or worse, I will put my soul on the tablet & share what it is I believed in.
The quilted patches of my romance: Beautiful memories of my adored:::
You were my favorite sleeping partner: the one whose arm rested comfortably around my neck or waist without causing an ache. The one who spoke to me, and to whom I acknowledged, while I dozed; your voice is ever so tender. We spoke until the sun re-rose and the birds joined forces in their melodies; I was never exhausted by these talks, only invigorated with passion & life. I loved to caress your soft, fair-skinned body, look into your beautiful eyes & smile as you held me in your arms. To rest my head upon your perfect shoulders and move to music we instinctively made up was a highlight of my day. To photograph you as you stood in your own space and time brought delight. I loved how we played as innocent & fun as children, made up random songs, shared deep-opening conversations, and laughed at life together. Darling, you brought me comfort & happiness, inspiration & strength. You could have been my own Maestro...
These are words you brought into my world, and into my heart:
And truly, I really do think we are good for each other....I'll leave it at that...
...you are so cute & beautiful & cute... (yes, i did wake up to you saying that)
off to bed...I wish you were already in it keeping it warm
we have a very mature relationship, people usually only speak of these things after they marry & have kids
[marriage]... i think of going there with you
i am so glad I am on your way to something
you put me on a cloud too
i love to see you
i love to be with you
gotta get out of here, with you near
we have so much fun together
i miss you
...you are perfect...
you know how sexy you are...
you are my sunshine who i like to wake up to
So, the time has come to doze off into my own bed. I will sleep with an exhaustion of the day. What would it be like if you were keeping the bed warm? ...
This book I hold is not exactly mine. However, it is the perfect book to have borrowed from the one whom I write this passage about. When I walked out of sam's apartment with this book in hand I had no idea it would fit into my life as perfectly as it does. While reading this novela I underlined passage after passage, something I have not done in years. He said I could have it, but I am not sure if I will return it, at all, as is, or buy a new one to return without the underlines. In high school I wrote notes along the margins of books I read. They were quotes of a song I was listening to, my own inspirational mental meanderings, notes for an upcoming essay, or underlines of poignant passages. Upon finishing them, I would return the book to the teacher. After a few days I would sneak them out of the room so I can have all of my writings back. The artist & me, together on one page. Today, I felt the same. Years after I left the school, I returned all of the books. I am not sure what anyone thought to receive twenty books with notes enscribed along the sidelines. Perhaps it inspired another soul...that is all I can ask.
After my class tonight I ate a pizza & brownie dinner with my brother-man shane; not my brother by blood, but my brother by soul. We are very much similar, in looks & in presence: two hippy kids with blondish hair, lively eyes, and big smiles. It is commented by those that see us interact in our nods & recognition of the other. We endow upon others a comfort that is soothing to them & to myself. It is wonderful to know that there is a guy in this world who sees & respects me as a sister. I always knew I had a brother, it just took a long time, landmark, a cello, and a connection to ithaca to find him. i am ever grateful for his presence in my life.
We spoke of building eco-friendly houses together & inspiring people with creativity. I shared with him about this book, Memories of My Melancholy Whores & my own unrequited love. I shared how I am so very much inspired, in spite of, or perhaps due to, the circumstances at hand. On one hand, there is a man who is open with his love, who pampers me & makes great strides to try to be with me. On the other hand there is another who wants a life with me, but is so conflicted & disappeared. Why do I not pursue the first & choose the latter? Because I am happy sharing life together; because I grow & am inspired; because though his absence troubles me, with each absence my heart grow fonder; because I see the light at the end of tunnel; because my spirit has grown so much over the past few months with sam; because i believe... but it's not working. Perhaps Marquez is onto something: the world does move around the unrequited love. After all, how many love songs, books, poems, photos, films, & theater productions are based on this very topic? Artists thrive on this: this is the bread & butter of our souls. We are all here- in this very melancholy place!
Currently, I am left with only with memories & lines of writings. Even the love-inspiration candle I have from a healer in Mexico refuses to light. There is no hope. But hope brings nothing. Words & action bring what you put out there. Am I putting something out there? These writings, yes, but for what I am not sure of. Perhaps he will find these writings, and bestow upon me a long loving that will continue forever. It is insane for me to think of these things, but I look to them not in lamenting the past, but with a nostalgia of something that I shared with someone. Perhaps, just for a moment, it was real & happy. Perhaps it was once the perfect ending to Marquez' books. Perhaps, like a boomerang, if I let him go, he will come back. So...for better or worse, I will put my soul on the tablet & share what it is I believed in.
The quilted patches of my romance: Beautiful memories of my adored:::
You were my favorite sleeping partner: the one whose arm rested comfortably around my neck or waist without causing an ache. The one who spoke to me, and to whom I acknowledged, while I dozed; your voice is ever so tender. We spoke until the sun re-rose and the birds joined forces in their melodies; I was never exhausted by these talks, only invigorated with passion & life. I loved to caress your soft, fair-skinned body, look into your beautiful eyes & smile as you held me in your arms. To rest my head upon your perfect shoulders and move to music we instinctively made up was a highlight of my day. To photograph you as you stood in your own space and time brought delight. I loved how we played as innocent & fun as children, made up random songs, shared deep-opening conversations, and laughed at life together. Darling, you brought me comfort & happiness, inspiration & strength. You could have been my own Maestro...
These are words you brought into my world, and into my heart:
And truly, I really do think we are good for each other....I'll leave it at that...
...you are so cute & beautiful & cute... (yes, i did wake up to you saying that)
off to bed...I wish you were already in it keeping it warm
we have a very mature relationship, people usually only speak of these things after they marry & have kids
[marriage]... i think of going there with you
i am so glad I am on your way to something
you put me on a cloud too
i love to see you
i love to be with you
gotta get out of here, with you near
we have so much fun together
i miss you
...you are perfect...
you know how sexy you are...
you are my sunshine who i like to wake up to
So, the time has come to doze off into my own bed. I will sleep with an exhaustion of the day. What would it be like if you were keeping the bed warm? ...
Talent Show!
The last person from the Talent Show! party left just a few minutes ago. It was AMAZING!! more than I could have expected, thought of, or imagined. I was nearly moved to tears or laughter at every single moment. The people came together & the musicians did their thing- it flowed soooo easily. Everyone enjoyed themselves & we connected.
Breakdown of the goings-on:
The guests:
George, Empress Andrajennique, Cassendre, Christina, Trevor, Tiffany, Debra, Kei-Chi, Julian, Karen, Aaron, Juan, Nana, Ronzil, Roger, Erica & Allison
A huge thank you again to Christina for organizing this & taking the lead! She kept me on the right track and kept this party going!
The pot-luck part:
Christina made phenomenal chicken wings & potatoes, the leftovers are doing my taste buds well!
Roger brought salad, potatoe salad, biscuits & plantains, deliciously made from mom.
I contributed son-in-law eggs, Thai corn fritters, mint Newman's own-type oreo cookies (very tasty, thanks Paul!) & sangria. My mom gave me a great idea to decorate the bottle. So I put it in an orange juice container w/red coral beads, leaves, & cucumber slices & froze it - pulled it out & it looked stellar! I asked my mom for advice on how to run the show & was so inspired by her knowledge & insight. It really let me see her as a person w/a lot of business skills, not just my mom. That in itself was great :)
Kei-Chi did decorations & pulled the place together with her amazing skills! Thank you!!!!
Cassendre contributed enough chips to keep everyone munching away.
Debra made tasty rice & beans!
Julian brought great dumplings.
George brought wine & beer.
I think that covers it, if I forgot anything let me know!
The Talent Show! musicians:
Karen, Aaron & Juan started off the show by playing beautiful songs, the ones you want to hear while you're in a hammock on a beach; soothing & soulful
Trevor put together great electronic remixes: one was an Obama speach & the other was Soul II Soul - people got talking about the election & want to buy his tracks!
Nana & Ronzil sang & played guitar together beautifully to move the soul!
George played the guitar & sung harmonies & melodies at the same time. He & Karen joined forces for a great cover of Easy like a Sunday Morning. It got us all to chime in. Everyone agreed he is amazingly talented & a true professional. He also shared his spirit and opened up to let us in. That was beautiful!
Cassendre sang & played guitar while George accompanied her on his lap drum. Her voice is just astonishing! Touching songs that get down deep & move the spirit, it brought me to tears. She also sang an affirmation song, it begins: I absolutely love my life, everything gets better all the time.
Empress Andrajennique sang two songs - one was a get-down-with-your-bad-self gritty song that got me on the dance floor within seconds! the other was about being a mother & being sexy - both of which she accomplishes very well.
We then had a dance party to finish off the evening.
Early in the show, Empress requested that we hold hands for a moment to become cousins, so we are all connected & accept everyone as they are. And we did, and we did & we did! We laughed, cried, ate, danced, sung, played & lived. The inspiration flowed from the room. I handed out candles to the guests as a souvenir to keep their creative spark alive & thriving. I cannot give enough thanks to every single one of them & everyone I've met in this world to bring this moment together. It is stellar :)
An important lesson I learned from the show, the project, & my life is that I am part of the world, a great part of it. I am from everywhere & touch everything, as is everyone around me. In high school I quoted Pink Floyd's lyrics for my inspirational senior page. Today, I find I have not changed, I am the same person as I always have been: "And all you touch and all you see Is all your life will ever be."
One of the musicians, Aaron, asked if we can have this every week, a gathering of talent. Life generates itself in many ways & creativity, love, & friendship are my favorite ways to live. The Talent Show! shall go on, again. :) I am so grateful to be alive.
As Empress left she told me to take care of myself, love myself as I did everyone in that room. I put my feet up, placed cucumber slices on my eyes, and curled into bed. I made some calls & set adrift to sleep.
A word of living I got from her last night: how does one get from A to B? Be in A until you get to be in B. ... simple, easy living...
You can check my other site also.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
love...or the lack there of...
Do you know what it's like to love, like really love again for the first time? It's wonderful, beautiful, full of fluffy little clouds that I float on until I hit the moon. Without being afraid to give, be tender, be sweet, nice, and jolly? To put something in the mail with scents and inspiration, and to be told that is one of the nicest things anyone has done in a long time? To be told I can be counted on for bliss...a beautiful word...the most beautiful word I could think of to be.
Then to be told I am an overly self-righteous, demanding, hypocrite who has horrible judgement but judges people too much. How does this fit? How did I go from Cinderella wearing the perfect shoe to the ugly witch whose shoes burn with hate? Where did I go wrong? How did I change so much in such a short moment? How did it go from 'you're perfect' to 'we just will never be compatible?' How did I fail? How did we fail? I am not wrong, you are not wrong. We see the picture differently, as we are standing in our own place.
In my heart there lived a man who I put there. Beautiful & perfect, fun & sweet. Times change, people change, little dirty things come out of hiding like bugs. I let myself resign to not being myself. To being the pathetic loser who fails in everything I do. This is the 'not-me' I speak of. The one who is anti-social for fear of looking needy & pathetic; the one who cries & demands love for fear of not being wanted; the one who looks at herself in disgust & embarrassment; the one who thinks I am not worth the time of day. This is the ugly side of me; the one who no one wants to be with; the one whom I run from; the one who destroys prospects of happiness; the "other one" in me. Surely, we all have this side...the little part of us that tells us, 'no, it's not possible' or something to that effect; maybe I am not alone. Well, this is my ugly mess that I have imparted onto the world. Sometimes I want to die for inflicting this negative stream of consciousness into life. Forgive me dear sir...I do my best.
I also dream big, am soulful & loving, compassionate & giving, beautiful & glittering. I am all of these things rolled up into one complete human being. When I am being myself, the me I want to be, life is beautiful & full of sunshine & happy clouds. Perhaps Bob Ross would have painted me on one of his beautiful canvasses that I tried to replicate time & time again. Perhaps how I see the world & my own art is perfect in itself; a happy little tree or building or child, or laugh caught in a moment on film. Perhaps I am perfect, the way I am made to be, defects & award-winning moments together. To be viewed in beauty, not to be put up in Marshalls, tagged: on sale & lonely.
To accept oneself, to be with oneself for a moment, a day, a lifetime. To be ok with & by myself, like really ok. Self-generating, living life to the fullest. To live & love & dance & laugh & smile & listen & listen again. To dance through life, because it really is a beautiful place we live in. I forget it for a moment, we all do.
I am on a path of enlightenment. I am not Buddha; I am Kimberly. This has been my journey for the past seven months. To be integrated with myself, to be connected to others, to touch my heart & mind together & to get the sensation as though I am floating above a chair (it did happen once & it was beautiful). If I go insane for a moment, I apologize. It is not always easy to deal head-on with life; to throw myself into the mud of my soul. I am a person, a human being, whole & complete & beautiful in my own way. You are too. Take me as I am, teach me a lesson. I am listening to all that you say.
~Thank you~
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