la voz

it is a song, a whisper, a soothing tranquil melody. yesterday, i lost my voice. perhaps it is stress, not being heard, and frustration that took it away.

for the first time in my life i felt tremendous fear. fear of being alone. fear that all i knew as stability i let go of; fear that i will not be able to make it in this world on my own. we made peace & let each other go last night, into the world as a free spirit to love someone else wholeheartedly. it was a beautiful reversal of vows, not the kind that you normally hear when two lives' paths end, but we had our own harmony. you are an amazing, caring man. i could count on you, and that is one of the greatest things i enjoyed with you. i must remember that i came into this world by myself & i will leave by myself. others are here throughout the journey to give a hand, but it is always me that has to take the steps. i cannot force things onto myself, but i also have to look at what is holding me back from potential. nor can i force things onto another, but i will stand up for them to get through the mood of their own mind.

from this point on, i walk alone, surrounded by all. perhaps i will find a journey partner to make it fun & easy & full of love, but it is as it is for now.