thank you for teaching me things tonight that i never learned. why is there not a class or life-manual given to us when we are children? they say 30 is the year of the transformation of life...i'm living it, and learning to just sit & be taught. it's rather refreshing not trying to have all the answers.
you know when you learn that you didn't know things?! sitting across from this woman whom i both hardly know and yet know so well, seeing ourselves in each other she taught me more in an hour about being a woman in relationships w/men than i have learned in years. i did not see guys as wanting to provide something- insight, protection, care. i was fighting them all along, trying to prove myself good enough as them. acting so 'free' and 'strong' and 'self-reliant' -- in doing so i created no space for them. my communication with guys was so screwed up! there is no need to go into the story, to justify, to make right. no need trying to clear things up over & over to make sure he knows i've changed...bringing up the past only dredges up garbage. the butterfly does not carry around the legs of the caterpillar, does it? no. being bliss & ease, that is how i am going to live my life. the only way to transform anything is to let it go & come fresh. ask a question, a simple question. get a simple answer. easy as that...
i've got it. no more beating myself up over what i didn't do or say or said and regret. no more creating drama. simple conversation with people. keep it clear... my middle name...clara...i was born with it, right now, i regain the space inside of it.
Clarity - John Mayer
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