spring in the fall?

"I do believe, that if people would just start by saying "it's fun," when it seems hard; "I'm happy," when they seem sad; and "I know," when it seems as if they don't, they'd finally discover that it really is, they really are, and they always have." ~Notes from The Universe. Precisely what I needed to hear. You really know what to say to me; thank you a million times over.

This morning two little german girls ran into the subway car; their parents followed. One of them, probably 6, lay sprawled out on the seat, cute little shoes dangling over the side of the seat & totally comfortable as if it were her own bed. I admired them for a minute- maybe not knowing anything about the fast-paced city they were in & totally taking over the place. I admire kids for their sense of comfort. I took a picture in my mind & took on being carefree today. Laughing out-loud to the book 'me talk pretty one day', and every time I want to retract into myself I open more, like a flower.

mrs meyers soap for the soul ;)

waking up in the most horrid of moods, sobby tears b/c i was a jerk. i took on being 100% straight with people - and totally fun too! clean, create, clean, create. it's one hell of a livelihood but it makes things happen. it's like an artist with an erasable canvas. i am creating love like i never knew it to be. who knows what is gonna show up. but life is a field of dreams when i'm the creator. god/etc. must have felt pretty damn nice. :)

musings on facebook...

my mom was on facebook before me!! as were 3 of my aunts and an uncle, and nearly the whole world. i remember back, um years ago, when my cousin christina was in high school (now she's graduated college). steve & i were both invited by her & his brother to join. we laughed- didn't want to be on a social site. well, he was on facebook a long time ago. today i joined & it's filled to the brim with this whole world!!!! it took my friend julian to go to denmark & say 'kim will you just go on facebook' for me to do it - i replied, 'for you, yes i will.'
i have to admit it was really great to see pics of all my pals!! so close & at hand. kei - no more private showings of photos needed (but i still prefer them anyway!). so i guess it's not so bad- bringing technology to connect people... i'm grumbling & smiling... :)

music manager

ok i am doing kartwheels right now - i was just asked to be jon braman's music manager!!! he is a ukulele hip hop artist with a great personality, sound, and is so unique. he's freakin awesome quite honestly!!
a few days ago i sat next to one-leg chuck - a bi-coastal reggae musician - on the bus. i had seen him a few times & that day i got to chattin w/him- he is looking for a produer & i said if i were a producer i would totally produce his work. now i am a music manager & damn why not be a freakin producer. this is totally one of the most amazing moments of my life!
i am just laughing at what life is handing me - cherries, not magic.

the simple good life

quite a wonderful day today...the simple pleasures...
woke up got out of bed... you know the song :)
snuggled with my kitty. cute lil one she is. good tunes on the subway. pleasant patients, good quality photos; tasty homemade lunch w/a friend; chatted w/my sis; met my best pal for dinner; played a hot sweaty exhilarating game of pool, ping pong, and bowling; edited photos & listened to new good tunes; strummed my guitar and off to bed... following my heart...this is what i call living a life i love... :)

my split brain

Last night I had a split. Realizing the absolutely beautiful power of love that I have for all of mankind & how I can truly just be peaceful & at ease & exude great gentleness & beauty. On the flip side, I tried to mend, then rejected, someone’s heart who I truly love. I give him the benefit of the doubt and then doubt everything he says/does. Maybe it's warranted as he gives love then takes it away. There is no space. It’s utterly confusing & frustrating (& I imagine) not only for me. Last night, I really got how much of past relationships I ‘edit into’ other relationships with people & the stories I create & negative reactive actions I unknowingly take. Fear has crept into this sweet heart of mine & taken over for a little while, like dusty spider webs. For someone who believes love is worth more than gold, this is venom for the soul. I can turn from a 30 year-old beautiful woman into a five year-old child fearful of not being loved & being misunderstood, throwing an internal emotional tantrum. It’s so sad for someone to know me as this. Maybe it’s worse for me than others because I know what I am capable of and I want to put my best foot forward, but still… it hurts. I’m exhausted of carrying the weight of two, but realizing how I altered the vision of the load doesn’t make it easier… so I put his heart down, push it aside, and walk away. It’s not me…but it’s what I did. This is today, at this moment…it’s time I left it at that and just carry on. Perhaps he just isn't the right one & in some ways I know that...in others I cannot help but remember the absolute peaceful love that i feel in his arms. Maybe that's how life is...? There is thin line on the crest of the human-brain-split-halves.

2 songs for the recovering torn corazon.

Clark Gable by Deathcab for Cutie
I was waiting for a cross-town train
In the London underground
When it struck me
That I've been waiting since birth to find
A love that would look and sound
Like a movie
So I changed my plans
I rented a camera and a van
And then I called you
"I need you to pretend that we are in love again"
And you agreed to

I want so badly to believe
That there is truth, that love is real
And I want life in every word
To the extent that it's absurd

I greased the lens and framed the shot
Using a friend
As my stand-in
The script, it called for rain
But it was clear that day
So we faked it
The marker snapped
And I yelled, "Quiet on the set!"
And then called, "Action!"
And I kissed you in a style
Clark Gable would have admired
(I thought it classic)

I want so badly to believe
That there is truth, that love is real
And I want life in every word
To the extent that it's absurd

I know you're wise beyond your years
But do you ever get the fear
That your perfect verse is just a lie
You tell yourself to help you get by?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let it be by The Beatles
When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

been a long time

hello people. been a long time since i've written.
a song for the day - life to be continued.
joy electric: we become as murderers:::

Become As Murderers - Joy Electric

Minus blood I'm still not you
Multiplied you are not so noble
Irrational and crippled, too
How the life escapes from your veins

We've become as murderers

Loss of mind or still too blind?
Sucking your desire to be useful
I cannot pretend or try
Watching as your blood bursts inside

We've become as murderers

bouncing along life

Onwards from AKQA on Vimeo.

electric feel

fun, fun, fun ---- that is what i'm up to right now!
here's a good tune to groove to.

Electric Feel - MGMT

2 quick quotes for inspiration

"How does one become a butterfly?" She asked pensively. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar." (from Bart- not sure where he got this from)

"Take time to rotate and love." (the books- take time)

spring music: Storyship: we can work it out (Beatles)

I was in Union Square & these chaps from Storyship were just so excited after figuring out a Springsteen song- A high-5 was a must! Then they gave a great private concert. So lovely!

In this video:
Russell Holland - guitar/vocals
Drew Pitcher - accordion/vocals
Andreas Pichler - drums/vocals

simplicity

Russ Spiegel- Big Band CD release party 4.7.09

The Russ Spiegel Jazz Orchestra will be performing live at The Gershwin Hotel in NYC on Tuesday April 7th, 2009 to celebrate the release of their new CD Transplants.

"Transplants" comprises nine energetic and magnificently performed Big Band Jazz pieces, all arranged and produced by Russ Spiegel. In addition to six original compositions written by Russ, "Transplants" includes songs by legendary composers Duke Ellington, Ray Noble and Paul Weston.

The 17-man strong Russ Spiegel Jazz Orchestra consists of some of New York's most talented musicians, and between the scintillating arrangements, stellar compositions and amazing musicianship there is something for everyone.

Don't miss this opportunity to catch one of New York's most electrifying live bands before the start of their world tour in support of Transplants.

The Russ Spiegel Jazz Orchestra will be playing two sets at 8pm and 9:30pm, and tickets are $15-come for the first show & stay for the second.

The Band:
Russ Spiegel: compositions, arrangements, guitar
Reeds: Rob Wilkerson, Alejandro Aviles, Arun Luthra, Lucas Pino, Frank Basile
Trumpets: Colin Brigstocke, Kenny Lavender, James Smith, David Smith
Trombones: Michael Boscarino, Jack Davis, John Yao, Max Siegel
Rhythm: Art Hirahara (p), Yoshi Waki (b), Chris Benham (dr)
& Special Guest: Dennis Jeter (voc)

The Gershwin Hotel is located at: 7 East 27th Street
New York, NY 10016
212-545-8000
www.gershwinhotel.com

For more information about The Russ Spiegel Jazz Orchestra please visit:
www.russguitar.com

Contact:
Janet Castiel
Redwood Entertainment Inc.
Phone: (212)543-9998
info@redwoodentertainment.com

umbilical balloon

You know when an animal dies they go off on their own & into a dark space…I am feeling the same need. I have been contemplating becoming a Buddhist monk in Thailand or going on a spiritual retreat where I do not speak. There is a part of me that is dying, not in a bad way. I just know that who I have been for the last 30 years is going to be gone, and I am very attached to who I am, but I have to let that umbilical balloon go.
I walked up the stairs towards my apartment the other night & the words ‘I am satisfied’ came out of my mouth- without a thought. My third eye has been totally blocked for 2 weeks, like a rock jammed in between my eyes. I do not know what is to come in my life, but something, a little easier I imagine. Like a rebirth of the soul…

beautiful...

Ciara & JT

sexy, but she doin all the work

music picks of the day

How I dearly love Pandora for introducing me to music - it is such a joy to find a new song that thrills me!

Welcome to Spring! Introducing two female vocalists accompanied by strings: one daisy, one black-eyed susan.

Maria Taylor: leap year
(a spring mix of Frou Frou & Sara Bareilles)

Emilie Simon: Desert
Engaging, haunting, & thrilling.
a medley reminiscent of Martina Topley-Bird, Lykke Li, Bjork, Portishead, Lush, & Rasputina.

notes from the All Music Guide:
Although Emilie Simon is a conservatory-trained experimental musician with a strong theoretical grounding, she has also made a name for herself both as a mainstream soundtrack composer and as an electronic pop musician not far removed from Björk or the Knife, with a distinctively soft, almost babyish voice that at times recalls both early Kate Bush and Claudine Longet. Born in the small coastal city of Montpellier, France, in 1978 into a musical family (her mother is a pianist, her father a sound engineer), Simon began studying music at a young age, and followed her conservatory training in voice with advanced studies in early music at the Sorbonne and electronic composition at the Institute de Recherche et Coordination Acoustique Musique (IRCAM) at the Centre Pompidou in Paris. The combination of cutting-edge electronic theory and a strong grounding in ancient vocal traditions gives Simon's work its unique tension. Simon's attractive mixture of art rock and catchy electronic pop was first unveiled on 2003's Emilie Simon, released to positive reviews and eventually winning a Victoire de la Musique (the French equivalent to the Grammy) for best electronica album of the year. Documentary director Luc Jacquet then contacted Simon to score his immersive 2005 nature documentary March of the Penquins; Simon's expressive soundtrack won the composer her second Victoire de la Musique and was nominated for a Cesar (the French equivalent to the Oscar) but lost to Bruno Coulais' score for Les Choristes. Inspired by the musique concrète elements of the soundtrack, which featured sounds of cracking ice floes and other elemental source recordings, Simon's third album, 2006's Vegetal, outdoes Stevie Wonder's Journey Through the Secret Life of Plants by not only including lyrics about vegetation but also sampled sounds taken from actual plants. In late 2006, Emilie Simon was finally properly introduced to American audiences through the release of The Flower Book, a compilation of tracks from her first three European albums. ~ Stewart Mason, All Music Guide

getting it- edited

thanks a million, Mai.
thank you for teaching me things tonight that i never learned. why is there not a class or life-manual given to us when we are children? they say 30 is the year of the transformation of life...i'm living it, and learning to just sit & be taught. it's rather refreshing not trying to have all the answers.

you know when you learn that you didn't know things?! sitting across from this woman whom i both hardly know and yet know so well, seeing ourselves in each other she taught me more in an hour about being a woman in relationships w/men than i have learned in years. i did not see guys as wanting to provide something- insight, protection, care. i was fighting them all along, trying to prove myself good enough as them. acting so 'free' and 'strong' and 'self-reliant' -- in doing so i created no space for them. my communication with guys was so screwed up! there is no need to go into the story, to justify, to make right. no need trying to clear things up over & over to make sure he knows i've changed...bringing up the past only dredges up garbage. the butterfly does not carry around the legs of the caterpillar, does it? no. being bliss & ease, that is how i am going to live my life. the only way to transform anything is to let it go & come fresh. ask a question, a simple question. get a simple answer. easy as that...
i've got it. no more beating myself up over what i didn't do or say or said and regret. no more creating drama. simple conversation with people. keep it clear... my middle name...clara...i was born with it, right now, i regain the space inside of it.

Clarity - John Mayer

The Roots present: The Jam

Highline Ballroom, NYC 3/19/09

What a phenomenal show! The Roots bring it together: Black Thought on vocals, kick-ass Capt. Kirk Douglas on guitar, Questlove keepin the nasty beat, and Owen Biddle jammin on the bass. The special treat guestlist last night featured Bilal, Wale, Antibalas, Dee Dee Bridgewater, & Corey Glover. They sung more than Black Thought, but they added so much to the mix. Ten beans is enough for me to want to go to another show. My ears are still vibrating.

Way with words: a musical orgasm happened on stage between two guitars.
Living Colour's, Corey Glover, has one of the most amazing voices I have heard from a male vocal. The lyrics were simple: I tried to save the world, this is the life I have, live life. The delivery was out of this world! Upper octive, long phrasing, and an energy that was entrancing.

Antibalas, the dude can move! Sax & trombone added a perfect mix to the roots reggae groove.

Capt Kirk did a rendition of 'You Got me' - fantastic! Did not know he could pull off those high notes.
Dee Dee Bridgewater, wow! She got the crowd movin. She's got so much energy, beautiful voice, and taking her hat and stroking Capt Kirk's thigh was enough to cause another near-orgasm.

more videos: youtube.com/user/kboldrini




Untitled from kim boldrini on Vimeo.

being moved

because sometimes it is the
silent moments that are so
moving in this fast-paced city.

12:12

the clock has read 12:12 for the past 2 hours. seems not only my mind, but time itself has stopped for a few short moments to breathe.
recollecting my thoughts after a small blow-out with a friend, have not had one of those in a very long time. you ever have someone hit your buttons and those around you so well that you do your best to not let it control your emotions but somehow it does anyway? like there's a light switch that you don't know you hit but all of a sudden a very calm lady changes in a moment? likely a nerve she hit that had my ego storm out & insult her. argh...the human condition...
i'm reading 'the new earth' and there's a lot of gold on those pages, but fitting it into the very moment, being present to everything & not letting emotions take me or anyone else hold is not so easy.

ego, pride, vanity...love... reaction versus thinking...versus being... living the moment in the present, and letting my emotions pass through my soul like a small gust of wind, scented with pain from the past.

bob seems to be a good fit for the moment.

Bob Dylan The Of Best[UK]

Dream Stand

Julian's Dream Stand project: Web for dreamers and what really matters in life!

DreamStand's First Gathering, Feb 24th 2009 at OST Cafe, East Village, NYC from Dream Stand on Vimeo.

webb on MTV

MTV Shows

www.myspace.com/webbafied
i'm so proud of this guy! you have no idea!!!

my name is zoom

ok - these records kept me entertained for years, but this video is new to my eyes!!

my birthday- an ode to my parents.

so on the night before the night of my birthdate, i have had a most inspiring time. i was surrounded by old & new friends speaking of their dreams, at 'my cafe' (finally! it's taken me 7 years to find my own spot in the city-it's called 'ost'), drinking delicious hot chocolate & a super-tasty cherry & cheese danish - i was completely touched by life, nearly moved to tears & had a blast. i find it fitting to take this moment to tell you about the great gift of life & the story of me & my parents.

on my birthday my mom tells the story of my birth - probably every year for the last 30 years. it's cute, but ya know...enough already! i think. but today... tonight...i see the amazing gift that my parents gave to me & i am absolutely moved, so i am sharing this story with you all. on feb 25th, 1979, it was a cold winter night in new york- icy and snowy. my dad got into a fender-bender on the way home from work. my mom went into labor- 24 hours of labor. my grandparents took a train up to the hospital near my lake house to see me be born. my uncle grabbed a newspaper so i would have a history of what happened. my aunt photographed the event. my parents played hours-worth of card games. my mom wrote down every surge (the non-fear-invoking term daphne has recently taught me). but i was not coming out- i wasn't ready for this world (or maybe it wasn't ready for me)...a this moment i am taking a short side-track...to tell my parents knew i was conceived.

do you know the statue of the infant of prague? it's a catholic statue of baby jesus, with a lot of history to it. fitting as i have deep connections to the countries of it's roots (prague & spain). it is a statue that's been in my dad's family for generations. as with most of these statues, the fingers are broken off. this child statue scared me since i was young- and i always wanted to hide it. especially after one night when i had very odd dream visions after spending time with it. that day my dad told me the story of this statue and me. he was home alone & was sprawled out on their bed one afternoon. the statue was in their room & it instantly came to life - it was still small, but a nearly human-looking child. it paralyzed my pops with light & told him to 'make room for one more.' that day, he found out that my mom was pregnant, but not from her doctor, from this child statue. my mom found out the same day. i'm not quite sure that my parents were ever ready for me, or me for this world, but here i am. i think the statement was fitting, as i never quite felt like i fit in - with my family, with my friends, with this world. but instead of continuing to feel like a burden in that i caused my parents financial hardship & the end of two fantastic careers, i am seeing life as a gift. i am truly blessed & thankful for them taking the steps they did to put our family together.

getting back to the day i was born...i just would not leave the womb. the doctor wanted to perform a cesarian, but the anesthesiasiolgist was late. the umbillical cord was wrapped around my lil neck & they were afraid i was gonna die. so my dad stepped into the hallway & began praying to my mother's mother whom had passed 18 years earlier, clara bell. i never met her, but she was one of eight kids, she loved lillies & fed squirrels, had a great garden, did some secret work for the pentagon, and was truly beautiful. all my mom knows about her was this & that she was amazing - no one can say anything more -her family break into tears knowing she died such a fast death of leukemia at such an early age. after a few moments of my dad's prayer to clara, i was born, no c-section, no breathing difficulties, a cute lil baby named kimberly clara, ready to bring smiles & love to this world.

so this year, i am making my birthday about my parents- to celebrate their lives, for loving each other, for being there for our whole family, for teaching me about life, and for being a source of inspiration & support & comfort, even when i don't think it's what i want. thanks mom & dad- for the best gift anyone has given me (life). i hope to pass around the gift as much as i can, inspire as many people as i can, and bring comfort & creativity to the world while i am here. that is my gift to this earth, sprinkled with hi-5s, hugs, & kisses.

i am including a note from my pops that i just found. he is incredible & funny- especially with mending my broken-hearts.

Have i told you lately... ;-) 1.23.06

hey toots,

just a quick note to let you know what a sweet, considerate and loving person you are...

yeah !... yeah! ... i know, i'm probably a little biased... but, ain't it the truth !!!... ain't it the truth !!!

Don't forget what i told you... it's important... you may think i'm a dumb ass... but, i'm an older person, so i've been dumber longer... that really means something RIGHT!!! :-)

w a i t a m i n u t e... ;-(

don't forget... keep in touch. i'm always here... OR there... OR there! ...well i'm somewhere.

ok kiddo, gotta go...

love 'ya

pax et amor,

eme

inspiration for the day.

Beautiful - Karsh Kale

Everything Is OK (Different) - Halou