music manager

ok i am doing kartwheels right now - i was just asked to be jon braman's music manager!!! he is a ukulele hip hop artist with a great personality, sound, and is so unique. he's freakin awesome quite honestly!!
a few days ago i sat next to one-leg chuck - a bi-coastal reggae musician - on the bus. i had seen him a few times & that day i got to chattin w/him- he is looking for a produer & i said if i were a producer i would totally produce his work. now i am a music manager & damn why not be a freakin producer. this is totally one of the most amazing moments of my life!
i am just laughing at what life is handing me - cherries, not magic.

the simple good life

quite a wonderful day today...the simple pleasures...
woke up got out of bed... you know the song :)
snuggled with my kitty. cute lil one she is. good tunes on the subway. pleasant patients, good quality photos; tasty homemade lunch w/a friend; chatted w/my sis; met my best pal for dinner; played a hot sweaty exhilarating game of pool, ping pong, and bowling; edited photos & listened to new good tunes; strummed my guitar and off to bed... following my heart...this is what i call living a life i love... :)

my split brain

Last night I had a split. Realizing the absolutely beautiful power of love that I have for all of mankind & how I can truly just be peaceful & at ease & exude great gentleness & beauty. On the flip side, I tried to mend, then rejected, someone’s heart who I truly love. I give him the benefit of the doubt and then doubt everything he says/does. Maybe it's warranted as he gives love then takes it away. There is no space. It’s utterly confusing & frustrating (& I imagine) not only for me. Last night, I really got how much of past relationships I ‘edit into’ other relationships with people & the stories I create & negative reactive actions I unknowingly take. Fear has crept into this sweet heart of mine & taken over for a little while, like dusty spider webs. For someone who believes love is worth more than gold, this is venom for the soul. I can turn from a 30 year-old beautiful woman into a five year-old child fearful of not being loved & being misunderstood, throwing an internal emotional tantrum. It’s so sad for someone to know me as this. Maybe it’s worse for me than others because I know what I am capable of and I want to put my best foot forward, but still… it hurts. I’m exhausted of carrying the weight of two, but realizing how I altered the vision of the load doesn’t make it easier… so I put his heart down, push it aside, and walk away. It’s not me…but it’s what I did. This is today, at this moment…it’s time I left it at that and just carry on. Perhaps he just isn't the right one & in some ways I know that...in others I cannot help but remember the absolute peaceful love that i feel in his arms. Maybe that's how life is...? There is thin line on the crest of the human-brain-split-halves.

2 songs for the recovering torn corazon.

Clark Gable by Deathcab for Cutie
I was waiting for a cross-town train
In the London underground
When it struck me
That I've been waiting since birth to find
A love that would look and sound
Like a movie
So I changed my plans
I rented a camera and a van
And then I called you
"I need you to pretend that we are in love again"
And you agreed to

I want so badly to believe
That there is truth, that love is real
And I want life in every word
To the extent that it's absurd

I greased the lens and framed the shot
Using a friend
As my stand-in
The script, it called for rain
But it was clear that day
So we faked it
The marker snapped
And I yelled, "Quiet on the set!"
And then called, "Action!"
And I kissed you in a style
Clark Gable would have admired
(I thought it classic)

I want so badly to believe
That there is truth, that love is real
And I want life in every word
To the extent that it's absurd

I know you're wise beyond your years
But do you ever get the fear
That your perfect verse is just a lie
You tell yourself to help you get by?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let it be by The Beatles
When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

been a long time

hello people. been a long time since i've written.
a song for the day - life to be continued.
joy electric: we become as murderers:::

Become As Murderers - Joy Electric

Minus blood I'm still not you
Multiplied you are not so noble
Irrational and crippled, too
How the life escapes from your veins

We've become as murderers

Loss of mind or still too blind?
Sucking your desire to be useful
I cannot pretend or try
Watching as your blood bursts inside

We've become as murderers