so on the night before the night of my birthdate, i have had a most inspiring time. i was surrounded by old & new friends speaking of their dreams, at 'my cafe' (finally! it's taken me 7 years to find my own spot in the city-it's called 'ost'), drinking delicious hot chocolate & a super-tasty cherry & cheese danish - i was completely touched by life, nearly moved to tears & had a blast. i find it fitting to take this moment to tell you about the great gift of life & the story of me & my parents.

on my birthday my mom tells the story of my birth - probably every year for the last 30 years. it's cute, but ya know...enough already! i think. but today... tonight...i see the amazing gift that my parents gave to me & i am absolutely moved, so i am sharing this story with you all. on feb 25th, 1979, it was a cold winter night in new york- icy and snowy. my dad got into a fender-bender on the way home from work. my mom went into labor- 24 hours of labor. my grandparents took a train up to the hospital near my lake house to see me be born. my uncle grabbed a newspaper so i would have a history of what happened. my aunt photographed the event. my parents played hours-worth of card games. my mom wrote down every surge (the non-fear-invoking term daphne has recently taught me). but i was not coming out- i wasn't ready for this world (or maybe it wasn't ready for me)...a this moment i am taking a short side-track...to tell my parents knew i was conceived.

do you know the statue of the infant of prague? it's a catholic statue of baby jesus, with a lot of history to it. fitting as i have deep connections to the countries of it's roots (prague & spain). it is a statue that's been in my dad's family for generations. as with most of these statues, the fingers are broken off. this child statue scared me since i was young- and i always wanted to hide it. especially after one night when i had very odd dream visions after spending time with it. that day my dad told me the story of this statue and me. he was home alone & was sprawled out on their bed one afternoon. the statue was in their room & it instantly came to life - it was still small, but a nearly human-looking child. it paralyzed my pops with light & told him to 'make room for one more.' that day, he found out that my mom was pregnant, but not from her doctor, from this child statue. my mom found out the same day. i'm not quite sure that my parents were ever ready for me, or me for this world, but here i am. i think the statement was fitting, as i never quite felt like i fit in - with my family, with my friends, with this world. but instead of continuing to feel like a burden in that i caused my parents financial hardship & the end of two fantastic careers, i am seeing life as a gift. i am truly blessed & thankful for them taking the steps they did to put our family together.

getting back to the day i was born...i just would not leave the womb. the doctor wanted to perform a cesarian, but the anesthesiasiolgist was late. the umbillical cord was wrapped around my lil neck & they were afraid i was gonna die. so my dad stepped into the hallway & began praying to my mother's mother whom had passed 18 years earlier, clara bell. i never met her, but she was one of eight kids, she loved lillies & fed squirrels, had a great garden, did some secret work for the pentagon, and was truly beautiful. all my mom knows about her was this & that she was amazing - no one can say anything more -her family break into tears knowing she died such a fast death of leukemia at such an early age. after a few moments of my dad's prayer to clara, i was born, no c-section, no breathing difficulties, a cute lil baby named kimberly clara, ready to bring smiles & love to this world.

so this year, i am making my birthday about my parents- to celebrate their lives, for loving each other, for being there for our whole family, for teaching me about life, and for being a source of inspiration & support & comfort, even when i don't think it's what i want. thanks mom & dad- for the best gift anyone has given me (life). i hope to pass around the gift as much as i can, inspire as many people as i can, and bring comfort & creativity to the world while i am here. that is my gift to this earth, sprinkled with hi-5s, hugs, & kisses.

i am including a note from my pops that i just found. he is incredible & funny- especially with mending my broken-hearts.

Have i told you lately... ;-) 1.23.06

hey toots,

just a quick note to let you know what a sweet, considerate and loving person you are...

yeah !... yeah! ... i know, i'm probably a little biased... but, ain't it the truth !!!... ain't it the truth !!!

Don't forget what i told you... it's important... you may think i'm a dumb ass... but, i'm an older person, so i've been dumber longer... that really means something RIGHT!!! :-)

w a i t a m i n u t e... ;-(

don't forget... keep in touch. i'm always here... OR there... OR there! ...well i'm somewhere.

ok kiddo, gotta go...

love 'ya

pax et amor,

eme